Something I like about the website I use to write this very blog (www.wordpress.com) is that any time I want, I can check my stats and see how many people visit the site each day, and often times which posts those mysterious people read. Typically, the visits hover around three or four a day. Meager, yes, but I’m not surprised, seeing as I am but one man, and I don’t really advertise this blog all that much. But, ever since I posted about Disneyland closing “It’s A Small World,” visits to my site have consistently been up around 9 or 10 a day, which still isn’t much, but is pretty staggering considering it’s about a 200% increase in daily visits. The reason, WordPress.com tells me, is that people are looking to find the story on Google or some other search engine, typing in phrases like “disneyland closes ride bottoming out” or “fat disneyland,” (really) and Google is presenting them with my blog as a result. So, using that same philosophy, I’ve decided to pust a list of phrases I think are commonly searched for on Google or other common sites to see how many more people it sends my way. So here goes:

britney spears


free xxx sex girls porn

fantasy football tips tom brady

paris hilton

myspace facebook friendster

writer’s strike wga hollywood

cheap travel airfare rates

american idol

wwe wrestling

barack obama hillary clinton fred thompson rudy giuliani

youtube monkey washes kitty

chocolate rain videos

lindsay lohan


tom selleck fan club

Okay, so that last one was for a far narrower crowd than the previous words, but it’ll get some people, I bet. And seriously, you may scoff, but check out that youtube video of the monkey washing a kitty. And the chocolate rain video, while you’re at it. Great stuff. Anyway, with all that, it’s now just a matter of time before I become the most popular website on the Internet, so enjoy the ride.

And now, a message to all those who have incidentally come across my blog:

Hey you, thanks for stopping by! I’m very glad you’re here. Feel free to poke around and give it a read. In my opinion, it’s a much better use of your time than all the porn and pop culture you were searching for in the first place. And heck, feel free to bookmark me and come back anytime you like. Glad to have you as a reader. Tell me what you think, while you’re at it.

Well, that’s it. Those of you who compose the original three clicks a day I used to have, don’t worry, I’ll try not to get too big a head about it, and I’ll still remember you when I’m an enormous celebrity, and people start searching for my name on Google. Because frankly, it’ll be the people like you that I’ll have to credit when I’m counting all my money.


1 Response to “britneypornsexipodchristmasmyspace!!!”

  1. 1 beth
    November 16, 2007 at 12:50 am

    The last time I talked to my brother he was very disappointed in me for not reading your blog because he wanted to talk about the Disneyland ride and how could we if I hadn’t read about it? Of course I logged on soon afterwards. So, maybe another reason for the sudden increase in visits is because of faithful friends who spread the word:)

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