Since my recent move to everyone’s favorite square state (sorry Wyoming), people often ask me what I think is the biggest difference between my new home and my previous home of southern California.  The answer is this:

Yesterday, when I was working at the ol’ bookstore, my manager got on the P.A. system and made this announcement to the entire store:

“Attention Barnes & Noble customers, there is a black Nissan Altima, license plate number JBY402 parked in the handicap spot out front, and it is currently running.  If the owner of that car is in the store, please be informed that your car is running.  Thank you.”

Here’s the difference: in my old neck of the woods, that announcement would translate thusly:

“Attention, potential car thieves: put down that copy of DUB Magazine you’re currently leafing through, ’cause I got a gimme for you.  There’s a black Nissan in the parking lot, and it’s up for grabs.  I repeat: FREE CAR.  The keys are in the ignition, and there ain’t nobody in it.  Blue book value on this one’s probably around seven or eight thou, minimum.  Plus it’s in a handicap spot, so if you’ve got two decent legs, chances are you can beat out whoever it is that actually owns it.  So ready, set, have at it.

…and thanks for shopping at Barnes & Noble.”